Next Friday (the 28th) I'm meeting with the program doctor. I will have my weigh-in. I'm a little nervous about that, because these past two weeks I've been on an eating rampage. I've just felt insatiable...partly because of my "monthly visitor" and the other part...well, I'm not sure. I think it's because we had the food in our house and I have no freakin' will-power. Prior to this rampage there wasn't a piece of junk food in sight, but now that we are moved and settled we've got chips and donuts and cookies and cake in the house...and I've been eating it. :(
As Napoleon Dynamite would say: "GOSH!"
I should know better. In my binge eating group we learned about removing the triggers. I know my family would be fine with not having those things in the house...all I have to do is ask. But, part of me wants those things in the house...so I can have some if I want.
This is when I feel like screaming...when I feel a little hopeless. I feel like I'm never going to get myself under control, and it scares me because I'm working towards this lifestyle change...this surgery. I want to be successful with it. I've posted before about behavior changes and how important I think it is to change our behaviors before surgery.
I feel so empowered when I am able to avoid these triggers ...but why can't I feel like that all the time? Why don't I remember that empowered feeling when I'm stuffing my face with potato chips? I wish someone actually read by blog so they could comment. Maybe I will post this post on Obesity Help and get some feedback. I want to know if anyone else struggled/struggles with this and how they coped.
Well, you'll be hearing from me next Friday...after my appointment. I hope it's all good news!
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